Proliferative

And you hold your breath.

Somehow you think that will prevent you from crying. For some reason you think if you hold the air inside you can keep your emotions inside with it.

But it doesn’t really work. It just gives you a headache. And when your body can't absorb anymore, when you do finally cry, when you finally breathe again, whatever you swallowed has been absorbed by all your cells, and now its even harder because it's no longer something moving through you. It is now something that is a part of you.

Once it belongs to you, it remains.

In the end you face whatever it is that comes for you, be it light or darkness.

And this I can promise you. This one part, I can promise:
When it comes, you won’t be thinking about someone that cut you off in traffic. You won't be thinking about your boss or the coworker you've festered about. You won't be thinking about taxes or the mortgage, or a lie you told, or the 15 lbs you gained. You won’t be thinking about the inane things that you think about now.

You'll think about the moments you savored.

You'll think about the one whose smile made it all worth while.