Starting the Weekend with Words

“Oh come on! You just like her cuz she’s the same color as pancakes!”
- Joy Turner, My Name is Earl


“Stop throwing tiny dishes at me! You’re making a tiny mess!”
- Gary Barnes, Gary Unmarried


"An affair. It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden."
- George Castanza, Seinfeld


“Man, I’m too busy to talk to myself.”
- Doug#1, Multiplicity


“I shoulda known somethin’ wasn’t right the second you walked into my life carrying that big bag-a crazy. ‘Cuz any woman with a purse that big has gotta have something in it I don't wanna know about."
- Jason, True Blood


“I’m not yelling at you, I’m just yelling near you.”
- Rachel Green, Friends


“I’ve only had 2 electric shavers and they both turned my face black. They did! Why are you hysterical?”
- Husband


"Used the manly shaving cream husband left in the shower. Legs now smell like Cliff Robertson."
- frageelay


"Veronica I swear to Christ if I google this and I find this on that god damn blog of yours I will fucking kill you."
- Name Withheld


"John gets two hundered bucks every time he does me."
- Old Lady I know in Physical Therapy


"Looking for two honest men, Radar?"
- Hawkeye Pierce to Radar O'Reilly holding two lanterns, M*A*S*H


“I'm sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone, and her death will be a mystery, even to me.”
- Mort Rainey, Secret Window

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