Acquiescence

I am through with the ghost of you.
I am through with the things that came in daylight
and the things you never said.
I am through with the part of me that never forgave you.

"My throat is trying to be sore. I'm thinking about what I'm not saying that maybe I should or what I may have said but shouldn't."
-numinous

It all comes down to winter.
And everything I didn't know.
I've spent too long in what went wrong.
I'd almost forgotten what didn't.

I used to wish I'd known you before I loved you. I used to wish there had been some warning.
But had I known, had I been warned, I would never have lain beside you. And I would have missed those moments I'm missing now.

It all comes down to winter.
And the cold of you, and the snow.

I created the sanctity of explanation
willing away the blindness and the mistakes.
I was reduced to the final moment
when the lesson was clear and the hurting began.
In hindsight I recalled the feeling
of how it all went wrong
instead of that first feeling
of how it could have gone anywhere.

And then that song plays on the radio.
That song that takes me right back to that place
Lying beside you.

It all came down to winter
and I'm through.

I am through reliving the mornings that followed.
I just want to remember the things we said in the dark.

"And the sound we make together
Is the music to the story in your eyes."
- Moody Blues

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